Today is going to be a challenge. I am going to go out and be social with people, and it is so hard.
Because most of them don’t know about me, and I am afraid of them knowing. I am afraid of anyone knowing, but I am going to try to face my fears. That’s what I need to do to be able to feel safe. I need to open up a bit more.
I am doing that by just typing this, because anyone who want can read this.
It has been a long time since I went out to a social event, a really long time, but today I am going to do my best because I don’t want to disappoint anyone. So today I am moving out of my comfort zone and trying.
Hello, my name is Vanessa and I suffer with anxiety and panic attacks.
And today I will start another chapter in my recovery, because from today and onward I will try my best to explain when people wonder. I will not force anyone to listen or to care, but I will try to open up about me.
Every new person I meet, don’t know who I am and I don’t know who they will get to know and that scares me quite a lot.
A few years ago, or maybe more than just a few, I knew who I was and what I wanted. But everything has changed since then and I have no clue at all.
So feel free to judge and pull away, because I am not going to try to be who I was, I need to start being who I am now.
So hello again, I suffer, but I won’t always. At least not as much as I have and as I am right now.
I am happy to start today, to stop being so afraid of everything.