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A place in the forest that is so enchanting, a place where there is no judgment on who you are, a place where anything can happen and it does. A place where there are no rules that apply on what you should be.
A clearing that would make anyone feel content with themselves. Where you could see the stars so clearly that you might think that you are imagining it.
It would be love and joy all around. The animals could roam freely and in peace.
Although bad things can happen the strength that the forest would give would ease the pain. The magic would do its best to keep it at bay.

Now, you might say that there is no such thing as magic, but I disagree. And if you would see it my way I think you might change your mind.
You see, I believe in the small things. Some people have what you would call talent, but I would say that there is a bit of magic in them. A childs first laugh or how someone can make the perfect meal without even trying. The smell after it has just rained. The way a mothers embrace can make you feel completely safe, or how a smell out of nowhere takes you back to the best memories you have. How the sun can make the water glistening and how when you are in nature you can feel everything so much more intense. That is magic.

It gives me peace to think about this dream place of mine, that I someday hope will be true, if I work hard enough for it. I don’t know where this place is, but I know that I will find it and I will build it, so that at least one of my dreams can come true.

 

I want to live a life worth something.
I want to dance in the rain, and not care if I get a cold.
I want to drive through long country roads, not knowing where I am going.
I want to get lost and then find my way.
I want to sleep under the stars with not a care in the world.
I want to make mistakes, I want to forget and forgive.
I want to live with no regrets that I missed out on something I wanted.
I want to scream in the middle of the forest where no one can hear me.
I want to risk stuff and be rewarded.
I want to follow the sun, or maybe the moon.
I want to go where the road takes me.

I want to be free.

I guess what I’m saying is that I want a second chance. I want a chance to be fully me, where nobody can judge me for what I used to be.

I want to soar, I want to rise, I need to free myself from me and that is good.

I want memories, I want something to remember.

I am a reader, I read a lot and when I was younger I wanted to be a writer, I guess I still do.
I love writing even if it’s just for me, I love how you can make somebody feel the way you want them to through words.
And if you do I right they can see what you see, smell what you smell and feel what you feel.

I guess I already am a writer because I write and how I feel about it in my heart.
I want to write beautiful things, I want to make people feel something, I want to share with the world my view of things.

I feel content when I write, it makes me feel something I can only feel when I write.
Maybe one day I will find a way to feel like this all the time, one day.

Stories makes me feel alive. They always have, no matter how small they all mean something special to me.

A lot has happened, a lot has changed but a lot is still the same.

I lost someone. And it hurt, so much. But it made me free.

I had a week of sadness, of pain and sorrow but I had a week where I was completely free and just me. I had a week when the pain was too much and a week of strength. I was strong and I was hurting, it feelt like dying but it was so liberating.

It was my cat, my best friend of seventeen years, I lost her and she made me feel, she made me want this, want everything.
It has almost been a year without her, and I’m sad and I’m happy, I’m fighting, I ‘m stronger than ever before. 

Her death was painful and it still is but it made me feel again and it made me enjoy every second of everyday.

Missing her is what I have, and it is the only thing I know how to do because I can’t remember a life without her, she made me peaceful.

Did saying goodbye to her mean letting go? And did letting go mean forever? Because that is not something I am capable to do.